FIX ME Chapter 1

This is a fic I already posted on Tumblr. :) kathartickat.tumblr.com


AN: I just started shipping them, but they’re consuming me fast. I don’t know how many chapters this story will be. Just bear with me. J This is unedited so I’m sorry in advance for overlooked grammatical errors and misspelled words.


Disclaimer: This is merely to satisfy my philjess shipper heart. No reference to a real life event that Jessica and Phillip had. I am merely shipping them and have no influence whatsoever in their real life relationships.


** means beginning of a flashback

*** end of a flashback


CHAPTER 1


This is goodbye. That, she knows.

Jessica couldn’t help but feel miserable. It is the end— she’s dreading it for so long. They will never see each other. Or if they will, it’s going to be in a long time. They will have their separate lives now.

Separate lives. They. Them.

Phillip and her.

The two of them are packing their bags now. Her Mom had called— In a few minutes, she will arrive to fetch her from the Idol Mansion.

And him? His family will be here too… with his… girlfriend.

Jessica shook her head to clear her mind and went back to putting the last of her clothes in her luggage. She looked around the room she shared with the girls. It was really big with a dozen queen-sized beds.

She smiled. There were a lot of good memories in this room.

Hollie falling from the bed every morning… Yes, every morning.

Elise waking them all up early, being the early riser that she is…

Skylar hiding their clothes and putting them on different, hard-to-look-for places when they are taking a bath…

Oh damn. Skylar.

Jessica felt herself blushing as she remembered the time that she became the victim of Skylar’s pranks—- it was during the performance night for the top 7.

**It was still early, but they were asked to arrive early for last minute changes in the program. The other girls had taken a bath already. She was the last one to have her bath.

She just came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel. The first thing she noticed was the loss of her underwear on top of her bed. She looked up and found Hollie and Elise looking at her apologetically.

Jessica frowned. From the look on Hollie’s and Elise’s faces, she knows what happened; what Skylar had done.

Sure enough, as if on cue, the pretty country singer just popped into the room with a silly grin on her face. She caught Jessica’s eyes and smirked.

“Yes, BB, I hid your lacy pair of undies. Damn, girl, I didn’t know you love sexy things like that. I underestimated you! Anyway, come and find it,” she said, much to Jessica’s horror… then ran out of the room.

It didn’t take long for her to react. Jessica screamed and followed after her, obviously forgetting she’s only wearing a towel. She chased Skylar in the hallway and didn’t even notice that Skylar had entered a room.

The boys’ room.

There was a sudden silence. Colton’s mouth fell open. Joshua looked dazed. Skylar stopped talking to Phillip, whose back was on her so he hasn’t noticed her yet.

It was embarrassing.

Phillip must have finally noticed the silence and turned around.

Shit.

Jessica’s face reddened. Skylar started laughing.

Phillip looked confused until he put the pieces together. He looked at Jessica, then Skylar, then the things he was holding—- her underwear.

Phillips’s face turned red too. Skylar laughed harder, which finally woke Colton and Joshua from whatever trance they were into. But before anyone can react, Phillip has reached Jessica with his shirt on his hand.

Jessica immediately put his shirt on, thanked him, and looked up to meet his gaze.

Phillip smiled and secretly handed her the underwear. “Go get dressed, beautiful,” he whispered, which made Jessica blush.

“Thank you again,” she whispered. Without waiting for Phillip’s answer, she immediately ran back to the girls’ room. His words were etched on her mind all throughout the day—“Go get dressed, beautiful.”

***He thinks she’s beautiful.


Jessica sighed. That was a fine day. She was smiling the whole day! Even Ryan Seacrest noticed her exuberance. Though she kept avoiding Phillip that day. She was quite embarrassed.

Stop it, Sanchez. That was nothing.

So what if he finds her beautiful? He must think Hollie is beautiful too… and Elise… and Skylar… Phillip is like that. He sees beauty everywhere and in anyone. He’s really a good guy.

She shook her head, looked around their room once more, and went out to the hallway.

You can do this, Jessica. You need to say goodbye. You have to say goodbye. She was telling herself.

She took a deep breath and went down the hallway into the boys’ room before she can change her mind. She stopped right outside the doorway…

… because her heart suddenly plummeted out of her chest at the sight of him.

She was mesmerized, as always, by his beauty.

He was talking to someone on the phone. He was laughing. It was a deep, husky laugh, which make Jessica feel warm all over.

And it hurt her at the same time.

The laugh wasn’t for her. It will never be for her.

Phillip hasn’t noticed her yet. She still has time to escape. She can go now without saying goodbye.

Jessica took one, last look at the boy who has become special to her then turned her back to go.

“Jess?”

She turned around quickly. She was looking straight at his eyes.

Busted.

—-

“Hi, PP,” she said quietly. Phillip, who still has his phone between his ear and shoulder, motioned a hand for Jessica, signaling for her to wait. Jessica sighed and nodded.

“Hey,” she heard Phillip said on the phone. “I’ll call you later, okay? Yeah. Love you.”

Ouch. Jessica thought. She knows she shouldn’t feel this. She has no right to feel this, but she’s hurting. Phillip has become so special to her that she’s afraid to even put a name to what she’s feeling.

Phillip put his phone down and looked at her. He smiled, but Jessica noticed there was something in his eyes, which she cannot fathom.

“You goin’ now, beautiful?” Phillip asked her. Jessica tried not to mind the endearment.

“Yes,” she answered. “Mom will be here in a few minutes. I just came to… say goodbye.”

Her voice was pained. She will miss him so much. She very much wanted to cross the five feet distance between them right now and just hug him to death, but she doesn’t. There was silence between them. It’s been seconds when Jessica broke it.

“So I’ll see you soon, PP,” she whispered and turned her back to him, pulling her luggage behind her.

Stupid Jessica. Where’s BBChez when you need her? You should’ve hugged him. You should’ve—-

“I’ll miss you so much, Jess,” she heard him. It was just a whisper. She even thinks he didn’t mean for her to hear it judging by the surprised look on his face when she turned around to face him. But the surprised look immediately turned into a smile.

Phillip opened his arms wide. “Don’t I at least get a hug from my favorite top 12?”

Jessica laughed and she relented. She went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling the warmth of his body. Her heart was thudding like crazy and she was silently praying Phillip couldn’t hear it.

She felt Phillip pull her closer. He tightened his arms around her. They stayed like that for quite a while until they heard a loud honking.

“That must be your Mom,” Phillip said as he reluctantly released her from his arms. Jessica nodded.

“I’ll see you soon, PP,” she said. “I’ll pray for your successful surgery.”

And I love you. She added silently, which surprised her.

Shit.

The revelation was about to overwhelm her, but she controlled herself. She can cry later. She can think about everything later. But not right now; not in front of Phillip; the boy who’s making her feel this rollercoaster of emotions.

Phillip’s voice cut through her musings. “Thank you, Jess. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.” Was all she said. She immediately went out of the room before her tears fall. She walked fast in the hallway and finally reached the stairs when she heard him.

“Jess!”

She sighed but plastered a smile on her face before she turned at the sound of his voice. He was running towards her with a shirt on his hand. He passed it to her without saying anything. Jessica took it and smiled. It was the shirt he lent her during the underwear escapade.

“Please remember me,” he said and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Before she can even register what happened, he was running back to the boys’ room. She heard the door close.

When her mother saw her, she didn’t ask what’s wrong. Her mother knows her very well. Jessica got in the car silently.

She was so engrossed with her thoughts that she failed to notice Phillip, who was gazing down at her car from a second floor window with a pained look in his face.

Jessica finally let her tears fall.