MY ANGEL BROKE MY HEART

HOW COULD AN ANGEL BREAK MY HEART BY TONI BRAXTON
plus the cathartic interpretation

I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine

Or so I thought. Maybe that lullaby was not really meant for me. May be heaven is particularly just letting me hear it just for the sake of letting me feel that I am not forsaken. At least. That I am not yet forgotten. At least.

But then... telling me at the end that it still isn't for me.

And it hurts....

Because I felt like dying.

Though a thanatopsis is doubtless better than having your heart broken.

Believe me.


I heard he sealed it with a kiss
He gently kissed her cherry lips
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me

Or so I thought again. His kiss can never belong to me. Because his lips never met mine.


How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star

I thought my guardian angel is supposed to take care of me... not break me. But then... he might have gotten bored... or he just realized that he wanted to just be with another ethereal being like him rather than looking after someone ordinary like me. An earthling.

So he just decided to stay at the stars... so he did not notice my star falling.


I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

I wished I did not ask for his heart that much. Because it hurts. It really hurts. So bad that I could not even compare the wounds my past heartaches have brought me. Why does it always have to be my heart? Why can't it be my mind? My hands? My feet? WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE MY HEART?! Please stop. I had enough. I really had enough. Sometimes, one just gets tired.

And I am tired. Really tired.

I heard here face was white as rain
Soft as a rose that blooms in may
He keeps her picture in a frame
And when he sleeps he calls her name

Literally true. Seeing two angels together will make you realize how perfect they are. Two ethereal beings made for each other. A match made in heaven. An angel falling for another angel. They are so right for each other. They grew beside each other together. Playing at the clouds. Seeing each other's tears. Being there to help heal each other's wings.

So heavenly perfect.

So how can an angel fall for me?


I wonder if she makes him smile
The way he used to smile at me
I hope she doesn't make him laugh
Because his laugh belongs to me

An angel's smile, I call it. An angel's smile that brightens anyone's day.

A facade. I know I am not a heavenly being, but it does not need another angel just to see that trace of sadness hidden in those brown eyes.

It just needs a heart to feel those sadness in the depths of those angel's eyes.

And I used my heart. An ordinary mortal's heart.

And I wish she makes you laugh. Because I could not be there to do so. I am not selfish, my angel...

I want you to be happy. If you are happy... that will definitely be enough for me.


How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wish our love apart
How could an angel break my heart


Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me...

My soul died... it might have died... but my heart is still holding on. Hoping... and still wishing that tehre can still be a chance... that heaven might give its blessings... that an angel be sent to me... to rescue me from the hell I am feeling.

I hope that angel is you.

I am trying to understand why it has always been like this. maybe there really is someone out there for me... someone not ethereal, but real.

But then... I have always loved dreaming...

And I just realized I do not want to stop dreaming just yet.

Maybe I chose to fight for an angel after all...

What do we know? That angel might fall too, have its wings broken.

I'll definitely catch that angel. Mend the wings again. Take care of that angel until that angel can fly again.

If he wants to go back to heaven... it will be all right for me. At least I was given the chance to get to know him and at least be with him.

At least a fair fight had been given. A chance. Because if he has not fallen, he definitely would not have met me.

But maybe he will wish to stay... because he might realize he can find heaven here on earth...

with me...


How could an angel break my heart
Why didnt he catch my falling star
I wish I didnt wish so hard
Maybe I wished our love apart
How could an angel break my heart

My angel did not really break my heart. He took it with him.

I wonder if he'll even return it because I need it.

I need it to move on just in case he chose not to have his heaven here on earth.

And just chose to go back to his 'angel' for their match made in heaven.

And I'll just be here again... looking up... and wishing...

Wishing that same angel break my heart again. Just as long as I can feel him.

My angel broke my heart... but then... is he really mine?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

OF OBLATION MYTHS, SABLAY, PLUS A NOSTALGIC ALUMNA

I just graduated three months ago, yet I could not help but be homesick… and just like what I wrote in my multiply blog, HOME= UP Manila. Lately, I have been visited frequently of memories. Memories that make me cry, laugh, and get red in the face. Just like the different Oblation myths that slapped my face as a freshie. I remember the first myth I heard that made me dread to even go near the Oblation—when you take your picture with the oblation… YOU WILL DIE. I really believed it as a freshman. Knowing upper classmen, they want to make fun of the first years. Remember the TBA? Telling first years that TBA was supposed to be a place when in reality is it stands for To Be Announced? (Sorry for being a spoiler.. can’t fool first years who will read this;)). It was a good thing a few, kinder upper classmen corrected the myth and told us freshmen that you will not really die if you have your picture taken with the oblation (and yes we sighed, but then---)… you will only not gradua
Read more

A Tribute To The Moffatts Part 1: My All-Time Favorite Band

Image
Before I get into the details of the concert, I need to give a tribute to the moffatts, my all time-favorite boyband. So watch out. This post is going to be a bit long as I will be taking you to a journey of my fangirl "yesteryears".  I know we all have a bit of a story when we became a part of something. This is how I became a fan of The Moffatts.  As a kid, my life was all anime, fiction books, and... music channels! Yes. Back then, MTV and Channel V were my addiction. If my favorite anime wasn't on, our television was always on MTV or Channel V. That's the reason why even if I wasn't fond of a few 90s singers, I still knew their songs by heart. 90s was that era when you know most songs simply because you were always tuned in to MTV and Channel V. In my opinion, if MTV and Channel V are still decent music channels now, Myx wouldn't have taken the spotlight. It was nothing compared to the glory days of these two music channels.  So anyway, I couldn
Read more

I Ship Dramione

Image
(Disclaimer: This is a manip; original pictures are not mine. Emma's pic courtesy of JustJared; Tom's pic courtesy of theberry.com) It was never easy. At school, they had to hide what they have... he has to pretend... she has to pretend... After graduation, the situation was the same... he has to pretend... she has to pretend... At work, it wasn't different... he has to pretend... she has to pretend... He's tired of it all. "I don't care anymore, Granger. I want people to know you are mine," he said in a voice that she knew was serious. She nodded quietly. She got her bag, slung it to her shoulders, and accepted the hand he offered. Together they got out of Hermione's office at the ministry. Gazes and whispers follow them at every corner. Both didn't care. It's time everyone knew. When they got out of the ministry, Draco pulled her closer. "Are you ready?" Hermione nodded. Draco apparated them both together to the manor, where his mot
Read more